Okay so my blog kind of fell by the wayside when I got my new job. It's been kind of busy...which is why I am on here are one o'clock in the morning. I can't sleep. My ex is driving me crazy and I am letting him. He keeps freaking out and being a jerk and I keep feeding into it. I have to let go of the need to understand why he believes that he is right. And the need to prove to him that he is wrong. It isn't going to happen...either one. I will never get him and he will never get that he is the cause of his own problems. He will never be the person that I want him to be and I will never be the person that can deal with who he is. What concerns me is that our son is in the middle. He is putting our son in the middle. Isn't it already bad enough that he is going to be there any way, just by default? Why doesn't J see that pushing him even further in the middle is just going to exponentially multiply the damage. I despise people that use thier kids as pawns to make their ex spouse miserable. And that is exactly what J keeps doing to our sweet little boy. And when I call him on it, I am the one in the wrong. I will admit I could have used better language to call him on it, but I was just so fed up of his crap. I have had it and I still can't do anything to change it.